The Real Secret to Growing Up

If you’re lying and scheming and bending the truth to your liking,

If you’re unable to sit alone with yourself, no numbing and no distracting,

If you’re manipulative and passive agressive,

If you can’t say “I’m hurt” or “I’m sorry,”

If you think life is happening to you,

If you believe your suffering is special,

If you’re chronically skirting responsibilities, at home or in the workplace,

If you refuse to be of service, in some way, for no other reason than it’s the right thing to do,

If your ego’s too big for you to ask for help,

If you’re waiting to be rescued,

If you’re still plagued by jealousy and petty resentments,

If you’re constantly throwing yourself a pity party,

If you’re withholding affection,

If you’re more concerned with appearances than authenticity,

If you’re an asshole in traffic,

If you’re faking intimacy and feigning vulnerability,

If you call people names,

If you judge others mercilessly,

If you can’t stand your job and have no plans to leave,

If you try to control those you love,

If you’re unwilling to accept your fellow man, whatever his skin color, religion, income, country of origin, or sexual orientation,

If you’re harboring hatred or inflicting violence,

If you’re not actively trying to do your teensy part to make this planet a better place,

Don’t call what you do adulthood. 

“Most people don’t grow up. Most people age. They find parking spaces, honor their credit cards, get married, have children, and call that maturity. What that is, is aging.”

— Maya Angelou

I love, love, love this quote. It sums up whats wrong with our society. Too many people graduate, get married, have kids and think they’re grown up. But they don’t ever really stop to look at themselves, to do the real work of getting intimate with their deepest wounds. And honoring the desires of their true selves. The healing work. The work our souls are here to do.

Naturally, these same individuals are tired, restless, unsure of themselves and aching for something more.

The answer is always more awareness. Followed by loveAnd still more awareness. There’s no magical arriving point, but at least when you’re pursuing emotional wholeness, instead of simply keeping up with the jones’s, you’ll begin to know real happiness.



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