Beautiful, Frightening Beginnings and Why We Need Them

Over the last few months, I’ve undergone a fair amount of transitions- beginning a new job, rescuing/adopting a puppy and moving into a condo with my man. I’ve pretty much been a bundle of stress for 2 months. So much so that I seemed to forget I wanted all of this!

Change is a good thing, particularly when it challenges us, because it is in this space where we learn the most. But first, change will scare the hell out of you. It will make you cry. And it may just ruin your carpet.

I’ve had dogs around my whole life, but this was the first one I made the decision to keep and care for myself. Like most major decisions, it was easy and almost automatic. There was no way I was leaving this sweet, floppy-eared puppy on the streets- flea-ridden with mange and who-knows-what for food, weaving in and out of traffic in one of Houston’s most dangerous neighborhoods.

And so, June, an adorable 11-week German Shepherd-Lab mix, became family.

june2

Many flea baths and doctor visits and training sessions later and she’s adjusting well to our colorful household- 2 humans, 2 cats, 2 dogs, and a frog. But my adjustment has not been nearly as smooth. I’ve cried and screamed and cursed the amount of work that goes into caring for a puppy (and everything that’s been destroyed in the process). I’ve questioned our decision to keep her and wondered when our life will feel normal again.

I’ve then suffered guilt over my fits of anger and labeled myself a bad {pet} parent. Sometimes the whole thing seems impossible.

But isn’t this how it goes? Every major life event or transition seems downright undoable until we do it. That’s what anxiety is all about: tricking us into thinking we’re mere mortals (instead of incredibly powerful spirits wrapped up in skin). In actuality, we’re both.

Starting college in NYC (a city I’d never visited)? Scared as hell

Moving across several state lines with a man I’d dated lass than a year? Yikes, what am I doing?

Starting this blog and sharing my message (and myself!) with the web? Totally nervous

But when I imagine not having done any of these things, that’s where it really gets unbearable. I don’t know about you but I opt for temporary discomfort over deep seeded regret any day of the week. 

Fear is a good thing. It means you’re growing. And it’s often in the beginning of some new project/venture/life change when we grow the most. New sensory input is coming in constantly and it can feel like our brains are scrambling to keep up.

But know this: Your spirit always absorbs what your mind misses. 

So good ahead: take it all in. Ride out the discomfort, embrace the obstacles, and remember to breathe.

Ultimately, a beginner’s mind is what keeps life exciting. If you already had it all figured out, there would be no room for the unexpected, no opportunity for growth and none of that exciting nervous energy that sustains you when starting something new.

What would any move, marriage, new job, or puppy feel like without it? Be grateful for this energy and all it allows.

Also, try to remain grateful for that which you don’t know, haven’t done, and can’t conceive of. It’s all fertile ground for your next beautiful beginning!

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5 comments

  1. Ships are safe in harbors, but that is not what they are made for, enjoy the journey! You are a blessing to me and many.
    L’Chaim!

    Like

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